Tag Archive | school

Education involves the heart…

Why?

The short answer lies in the fact that without the heart to bring a balance to what the head knows we cannot live with care and compassion. And that’s important isn’t it? (See the links in last week’s blog post)

The longer answer has to do with what education is for. Education has traditionally been associated with academics only. With improving society through the learning of reading and writing and numbers and knowledge. That was back in the day, before everyone had access to learning. But since learning is accessible to us all now through new technologies, perhaps we need something different for our contemporary society and culture. What’s education for now? To help build societies that are inclusive, compassionate responsible and caring? That goes beyond reading and writing and scores and ticksheets.

We need human qualities as well as knowledge and academic skills. We need more personal skills. We need to know ourselves, what makes us happy, and most importantly how to live sustainably alongside each other and the planet. How to take responsibility. That requires a far bigger emphasis on care and compassion and understanding; heart skills as much as head skills, than is currently present in the education system.

There’s a longer version on why happiness is essential for education and why we should educate the heart as well as the head in this post here.

Meanwhile as your children are educated, however they are educated, listen to all your hearts as well as your heads. And be brave enough to educate the whole person, not just grade the head!

Insulting!

Still giggling! Lovely to be with those girls from ‘A Funny Kind of Education’ again!

It’s always so lovely to spend time with the girls. Those two lovely beings I’ve blatantly used as material in my books and blogs about home education!

My saving excuse is that they did know I was doing that, so kind of gave their permission, and I did it with good reason – to support all the other families coming along the home schooling road behind.

Your kind hearted comments tell me that it does. Thank you!

One story that I told was when Chelsea was about 14 and at her drama group along with other youngsters who were in mainstream school. (Ironically, she teaches it now!) Someone commented, after hearing she was home educated, that ‘you couldn’t tell’ and we had a laugh over that! Mostly at the suggestion that she wasn’t weird or double headed as some people seem to think home educators are bound to be. She was home educated and still ‘fitted in’; surprise, surprise! So in a sense I suppose that was reassuring.

However…

Recently we were able to spend time all together again. Now in their mid twenties, we still have the giggles and the fun, although the conversations are a lot deeper. And the content of that story came up again, as it’s a comment still commonly received even in adulthood, but Chelsea has a very different attitude to it now.

In the light of so many minority groups who are different, like those who come under the LGBTQ+ umbrella for example, she feels very strongly that none of us should have to either defend or justify the way we are – home schoolers included. Everyone should be more open and inclusive.

And in relation to the fact she was home educated, she finds it offensive to equate that with an expectation of someone being ‘weird’ just because of it.

She says she is a person who may be described as different to many others in that she is very creative, confident, fairly feisty and chooses a entrepreneurial working lifestyle, which is unlike the mainstream lives many others choose, often lacking the courage to do so. If that makes her weird, so be it. But she finds it insulting to imply that home education is to blame.

She looks at it this way; there are plenty of ‘weird’ people who have been through school yet no one thinks to blame their educational past – i.e. school – as a reason for it. And this attitude is more a reflection of people’s discriminatory narrow mindedness, and is in complete contradiction to the inclusiveness society is aiming for. It’s incredibly insulting and she’s not prepared to put up with it.

Consequently she puts people straight!

We thought we’d share that with you in case you’d like to use the argument if ever you needed to!

When your Home Ed child wants to try school

Some children thrive well in school. Schools are a valuable and necessary route for many families.

You may be surprised to hear me say that given that I’m all for home education and work to raise awareness of it and support parents wanting to home school their children.

But I’m not one of those home educators who’s dead against school whatever. It’s the systematic, conveyor-belt style of schooling offered to us as education, which attempts to make kids all the same and expects them all to perform all the same, that I’m against. And I personally abhor some of the methods used by generalised school approaches (like recent backwards move to grammar selection) to reach targets that seem nothing other than political. But that’s just a personal opinion.

The idea of schools as a place to go and learn in inspirational ways with inspirational guidance from enthusiastic others, alongside friends, is a good one. It’s just that this idea doesn’t manifest itself as reality in many cases, thanks to an obsession with measurement, testing, politics, ignorance and disregard for individual learning preferences.

Watching our children wilting in happiness, health, and motivation to learn anything at all when they’d been such inquisitive little beings before school, was what drove our decision to change.

But it was only ever our intention to home educate as long as they enjoyed it. And as they grew older there was always the choice for them to go back and learn as their friends did. Mostly they decided not to, but there was one point where we were thrown by our youngest’s announcement that she fancied trying it, even though she was the one who’d wilted most of all. You can read what happened in the book ‘A Funny Kind of Education’.

Like many home educating parents in this position we saw it as a failure on our part to fulfill her needs.

That was daft; it’s unlikely we could fill all their needs – just as schools cannot – there is no one experience that answers as education. And her curiosity about school (and that’s all it was) showed her intelligent and inquisitive mind which we had nurtured and developed as part of the educational process. And curiosity and a willingness to try things out is a good thing – even if it is school they want to try. We should rather be congratulating ourselves than bemoaning it.

If your child is going through a stage like this you have to keep an open mind of your own – hard though it may seem. And congratulate yourself on your intelligent child and their ability for curiosity and decision-making. The decision may well be reversed again – as ours did, as did other Home Ed children we knew who wanted to try school too. Many families use school for one and homeschool other children effectively But it’s important to respect their ideas, keep on talking about it with them, learn what you can about what they’re thinking, discuss their options, and hang in there!

For being rigidly against school can be as institutionalising an attitude as the one which school users sometimes display towards home educators when they’re having a go, isn’t it? The rather bigoted one we sometimes come across among those members of the public who don’t really understand home schooling or how successful it is.

All decision making as parents is hard. We need to share concerns, find support, and make sure we have a cross section of opinions, to guide us as parents. And meanwhile be brave enough, and open enough, to go with the flow of our children and respect that they will come to grow and know their own minds through experience. Whether that involves school or not.

And though thick and thin we must always stay on their side.

(Do dip into my books for more support and information)

Five common worries parents have before they home educate

Many parents tell me they’d like to home educate but don’t do so because of the same common concerns. Here’s five of them and how to view them differently:

1) I’m not clever enough to teach my children anything.

If you’re clever enough to raise your child past toddler stage, toileting stage, eating stage, speaking stage, you are clever enough to extend those skills you have to their further learning. Because that’s what they’ve been doing with you so far – learning. Everything you’d need to know and understand is online. Every fact your child would need to know is online. The support you need is also online and can lead you to groups and physical meet-ups. You don’t need to be clever. You need to be skilled; as in kind, encouraging, willing to learn and research and happy to give some time to your child. You are probably that already!

2) I worry my child will have no friends

All the home educated children I know and have met have friends. Schools DO NOT have the monopoly on friendships and are not always the healthiest place to forge them. Children make friends at school because they happen to be there. Children make friends wherever they happen to be; park, football, music groups, cubs, gaming, and similar activities and online. They also make friends among the home schooled community through regular meet-ups, family swaps and social events.

3) I’m afraid of leaving the mainstream and feeling isolated.

An important fact: just because you’re leaving mainstream schooling it doesn’t mean you’re leaving mainstream life! You do all the ‘normal mainstream’ things all parents do and integrate with other mainstream families whilst you’re doing it. Isolation comes through lack of communication and connection and is not to do with physical isolation which doesn’t happen anyway – you’re so busy connecting with others. Some of your connections may change – you’ll make new ones. But if the people you are with are making you feel isolated because of your choices or beliefs then I suggest you choose different friends!

4) I’m afraid my kids won’t learn anything

Look at your kids. They’ve learned loads already, without you, without school, without teachers, testing or targets. I bet they know how to game, use their technology better than you do. Kids learn anyway, wherever they are, all the time. give children experiences and they learn from them. They can’t help it. With your guidance and direction they’ll learn even more as you take them places, show them things, talk endlessly about what you’re doing, observe, bring awareness to the world around them – there’s so much to learn about they’d never have the chance for in school. They learn more through conversation than any other way. So chat about; where you’re going, what you’re buying, the route you’re taking, the advertising, produce, budget, work, climate, waste, traffic, whatever. Observing, questioning, discussing is an enormously valuable learning approach that can be formalised with research and study skill practice at a later date. Their brain is an amazing self-organising computer that stores it all away for future reference and extended understanding. Stimulate them and they’ll learn – it’s as simple as that.

5)I’m afraid of how it’ll turn out and the kids failing.

Another important fact: kids fail in school all the time. With home education you cannot fail because if anything isn’t working you can change it. You will learn from other families how to approach it. You will also learn that everyone approaches it differently and that’s okay for we are all different anyway, so we can adapt good ideas to suit our own individual kids and family circumstances. That’s the beauty of home educating. When the children start school we tend to look at it day to day. We don’t really look too far ahead to them being teens, or exams, for example. In fact this is unimaginable when they’re small. It’s best to adopt that view when you start home educating. Take one day at a time. Make it the best you can (and there’ll always be days that are not the best, but that happens in school too doesn’t it!) There’s no point in worrying too far ahead as children constantly change – as does the rate at which they change – but one thing is certain; they never stand still and they never fail to learn.

So relax. Keep in contact with others. Review. Adjust. Keep flexible. Progress with your child. Trust in yourself as an intelligent caring person. That’s all you need to be.

And enjoy it. that’s the best approach of all.

AHEN-THUMBNAIL-200

Buy it at a discount from birdsnestbooks.co.uk this month

(There’s a lot more about worries and wobbles in my new book ‘A Home Education Notebook’. Available through the publishers Bird’s Nest Books who are offering a discount on their home education titles this month).

Talking about home education and how it could work for you

Just in case you haven’t seen it, and whilst I’m having a little break, you might like to pop across to YouTube and listen to me talk about home education and how you can make it work for you! It talks about the usual issues; socialising, how the children learn, how to go about it.

It’s called ‘Home Education – Can I really do it?’ And shows how you possibly can:

 

And there are several books on the My Books page which you also might find helpful, for both beginners and those who’ve been going longer term and just need a bit of a boost!

My work is here to support parents and children for whom school doesn’t work too well and show how there are other valid ways to educate, so peruse, use it and share it as much as you like! The more it’s out there the more awareness will be raised of the fact that children do not have to suffer for an education; if they’re suffering with the school way – there are alternatives!