Tag Archive | inspiration

Boldly into January

I have to admit I find post-christmas hard. I guess most people do. It’s the lengthy dark hours, the cold, the end of christmas holidays and sparkle that does it. Not to mention work and routine to be confronted.

But a fresh year’s start can also be a time for hope, for review, for new beginnings. Time for looking beyond these first difficult bits. To take stock and consider changes.

Everything always grows and changes – people too!

It was a good time to review family life and our home education I found. Investigate what’s working, acknowledge what’s not! Winkle out all those rancid ideas I might be clinging onto that had become out of date.

It’s often forgotten that no pattern, strategy or plan will work forever. The snag with kids is you find something that works, think you’ve cracked it, then everything changes again. Of course it does; they’re changing all the time. We have to renew along with them. And the education we facilitate has to change too.

In fact, that’s another aspect of education often overlooked; learning stuff is all about change really. About embracing change. Change of ideas, of mind, of knowledge. You have to change in order to learn something; you have to be prepared to slough off old ideas in order to accept new ones. Some people find that really hard. Thankfully the kids are more readily able to do that to accommodate the things they need to learn, adults perhaps less so. But we all need to embrace new ways of working, new skills and new understanding. And a new year is a great time to do so.

We all learn, grow, change constantly if you think about it – the kids, the mums and dads, the grandparents, the ambience in the home. It’s all in a constant state of flux. And that’s how it should be. We don’t need to cling onto old stuff, old routines, old habits, that no longer serve us well. We need to allow change. We need to notice it’s necessary! I often didn’t and created conflict in the house for that simple reason. So learn by my mistakes!

And as you venture boldly into January with your family, embrace the change of the year, acknowledge the children’s need to grow and change as they learn, and don’t be afraid of bold new thoughts!

There are all sorts of ways to live a family life. And all sorts of ways for kids to learn. We just have to remain open to things and prepared to go with the flow and flux and bold enough to implement what we believe in.

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A present for a home school family

I hate to mention Christmas but it is getting that time of year and if you need a gift for a home educating parent one of my books might be an idea.

Home educating is an inspiring and uplifting choice of lifestyle and learning. But not without its challenges especially if you’re doing it longer term. ‘A Home Education Notebook to encourage and inspire‘ is to support parents through the wobbles that all families face at times, with tips on how to manage them. A book that has driven even those who never write reviews to do so on Amazon – I’m most grateful for the wonderful words there. There’s many a homeschool family would appreciate having one by their side. See the My Books page for a fuller description.

And for those who are curious about the homeschool life or who just want a warm funny family read ‘A Funny Kind of Education’ is the one.

One reviewer describes it as “…a home education reassuring hug”. It’s easy to read and full of ideas about learning and new ways of seeing it, told in humorous ways. It may even change your mind about education for ever! Again, there’s more on the My Books page.

And if you’ve read one and enjoyed it do leave me a comment here, or review. Always so warmly appreciated. 🙂

What you up to?

I know I moan when the town centre is full of families throughout the term breaks, wandering around listlessly with their kids wondering how to occupy them.

There’s something desolate about empty playgrounds!

But, contrary person that I am, I also find the opposite disconcerting, when the schools are back in session and the place is empty and deserted. It seems abnormal somehow.

As abnormal as we were sometimes made to feel having our kids out and about when they ‘should be in school’ – as folks would say! Have you ever felt that?

So it’s always with a surge of delight when I observe a little group of parents and kids of school age still in the park on one of those pseudo summer afternoons Autumn does so well.

They must be Home Educators surely? I want to butt in and ask. But I wuss out in the end in case it seems a bit weird. Society is such now that parents get highly suspicious of someone standing there staring at their kids!

But know this; it gives me immense feelings of joy to come across these little groups of families out and about enjoying themselves as I hope you’re doing. And in fact it would be lovely to meet some of you, find out what you’re all up to these days, update my experience of Home Ed which I have to admit is less than current now that ours have grown and flown. That was, after all, what educating them was all about but doesn’t stop me missing it!

So if any of you belong to groups who’d like to chat with a post-home educator then get in touch. I’ll come and visit if you’re not too far away (I’m East Midlands). I’m happy to answer questions in return for asking some of my own!

Leave me a comment or contact if you’re interested and I’ll get back to you.

Meanwhile thoroughly enjoy taking your home educating out and about, smug in the fact your kids shouldn’t necessarily be in school! All outings are educational, social and an opportunity for experiencing the world.

And remember that not everyone watching you enjoying yourselves will turn out to be suspect!

Why should home educating always be positive!

I was sharing some tweets with Kate @kateonthinice recently as she reported a positive home educating day on her blog. 

She’d fallen into a trap common with many home schooling families. The trap that makes you believe that just because you chose to home educate, every day should be positive. And actually there’s two traps, the second one being that if it isn’t you start to feel guilty about it!

I did it! I bet many home educators reading this have done it too – are doing it now perhaps? But now I know that this is absolutely crazy thinking.

Regularly check in with the things that make you feel good

Crazy in the first place to assume that you can make every day positive when in fact, you’re just human and some human days are totally crap, home educating or not! And crazy to overlook the glaringly obvious fact that, whatever you are doing, it is never always positive.

Life isn’t like that! Why would we assume home educating is one hundred percent positive all the time?

Get real!

Ironically, I’ve been reading lately about keeping happy. (I needed a booster after a recent bereavement). And there was quite an amazing idea in this book along with the usual notes about checking in with the small things, understanding your bad habits, getting exercise, etc.

The basic idea in conclusion was that generally we are born happy. We generally do not come into the world negative. But as we grow and experience difficulties and challenges which are inevitable if we want to do anything, we encounter things that makes us unhappy. What happens then is that we easily get into the habit of becoming tense about these things, then these habits become our default and before we know what’s happening we’re practising negativity all the time.

What we have to do to counteract this is to remember to put our default switch back to positive – remember the things that make us feel good and act on them. Remember that challenges sometimes get in the way of feeling positive but they can be overcome. And remember to return to our positive default when they have.

Nice idea!

In relation to home educating the same thing can happen. After a while we can easily become too serious. We can become bogged down with comparing our pathways to school ones (which is what we wanted to abandon remember). We can sometimes get too heavy with our youngsters. We can get over burdened on occasion with the magnitude of what we’re doing in stepping away from mainstream.

What helps on these occasions when you feel a bit negative and worry whether home educating was a positive decision after all, is to remember; 

  • life is never one hundred percent positive and schooling would equally be throwing up a whole bunch of negatives
  • to seek out others to talk to
  • to keep a balanced perspective on it all by remembering why you did it in the first place
  • to step back and see the bigger picture!

And stop feeling guilty if your days go askew for a while – totally understandable – parenting often goes askew whatever you’re up to. Don’t blame home education.

Life often goes askew. But guess what?

You can change it!

 

(Don’t forget; ‘A Home Education Notebook’ may help with some of those times too). Available  Eyrie Press. or Amazon. See the My Books page for more details.

Beyond home education

Okay, I’m going to do something I rarely do; put up a mugshot!

This is because when you start out home educating, or think about it as an option for the family, you rarely imagine that one day these littlies will be grown ups. What you normally think is OMG, what are we doing; how will it all turn out?

And this is to show you that it will all turn out okay – the kids will be fine and they’ll still love you!

Our home education took place in many venues and many forms. Charley left, Chelsea right.

If you’ve been reading this blog recently you’ll know I’ve just spent some time in Brighton watching Chelsea’s production in the Fringe – that’s what she’s doing now. She has her own production company which she runs with her partner producing shows (it’s Edinburgh Fringe next), as well as employment to keep the roof over her head and fund some of her enterprises.

Happily Charley could get time off work and come with us – it’s rare we can get all together at the same time. She’s an assistant manager with a big retail company now but also building an independent craft business at the same time.

They are hard working, intelligent, social and competent young women making independent lives for themselves and I’m immensely proud. But in those early days home educating I could never have predicted any of this. You just parent and guide and suggest and encourage and actually – with that support – they do it for themselves.

So, our two have chosen those routes, but other home educating families we knew have done other things, took degrees, are in various professions and self-employment. All busy. All independent. All social. All living their own succesful lives – but successful has a very personal and individual definition anyway. Just like with school kids – you can’t really predict how things will turn out. Both require an amount of faith and trust – school gives no guarantees of success or happiness.

So I thought I’d just put these pictures here as you may well have read about the girls when they were little in ‘A Funny Kind of Education’ and they feature in the stories in ‘A Home Education Notebook’, to reassure you and encourage you to quit worrying and just get on with the very important business of enjoying your home educating time with your littlies because there will come a time when you only see them in snatches and only rarely get a pic! And it’s so lovely when you do, so just this once I’m sharing it with you!

Happy times with the girls in Brighton recently, Chelsea left, Charley right!

Off for some ‘Blue Sky Thinking’

I’m taking a little mini-break in Brighton next week. This is because I want to enjoy some of the events in the Brighton Fringe. One in particular!

Who’d have thought that all those little ‘shows’ of Chelsea’s I watched when she was a little girl at home would eventually develop into a real live show in the Brighton Fringe, this year written by her talented partner Rich Foyster.

They’re producing it themselves, having set up their own little Indie company, Popheart Productions, and this time she’s one of the actors too. I can’t wait to see it. Last year’s show sold out and they’re taking that one to Edinburgh in August. Amazing stuff! How did that little girl become so brave and entrepreneurial?

So this is my little plug in support of them:

‘Blue Sky Thinking’ (trailer here) runs from 21st – 27th of May at 8pm and is hosted by The Sweet Dukebox, at The Southern Belle, Waterloo Street, Hove. BN3 1AQ

I’ll let you know how I got on, but being her mother I’m bound to be mesmerised and proud!

 

 

A song for comfort

At this time of year I love to hear the blackbird song. He’s singing his rights to territory and of course serenading a potential mate. His song is the most delightful – up there with the more famous songsters the Nightingale and the Thrush.

I find these moments connected with nature immensely comforting and enriching – whichever I need at the time.

It was the Blackbird song that also prompted a short story from me which surprise surprise won a little competition at the time – not something I normally do. (Copied below)

And following a recent bereavement I was put in mind of how important it is to build these strategies to overcome tricky times in our lives and encourage our children to do the same. Life never runs smooth. There are smooth currents at times obviously, but also rapids, waterfalls and undercurrents to continue the analogy! And part of our duty as parents and educators of this next generation is to be honest about them and help the kids find ways to negotiate them too.

Some find music helps, some use gaming, some use art or social media. Some throw themselves into work. Or running or walking. Or writing – as I do at times. Love from others always brings solace. We are all different and all need different strategies that will help us do this; child or adult. I’m aware in my adult children how they have begun to develop their own. But more importantly how they do not take their spiritual and mental well being for granted but treat it seriously, acknowledge that it needs serious attention at times, and this is something we continue to talk about.

Looking after oneself, mentally and emotionally is as an important part of any education as the academic. We have to see that side of it is not neglected – not easy in schools I fear. In fact, many parents turn to home schooling for that very reason. But however your children are educated make sure some time is spent understanding and nurturing the spirits as well as any other part of the curriculum.

As for the story:

When I was little my mother would take me with her on her walk round the city’s evening streets. The reason she went was to listen to the Blackbird sing.

I felt a bit odd just standing there, unaware at the time that this was my first experience of the power of nature to feed our spirits. What I was aware of though was a special aura of peace upon her face as she stood upon the grey pavements and listened.

Growing up I began to learn a little more about this power. Freed from the taunts and terrors of schoolgirls that were my daily diet I’d spend hours walking the marshes where I could be alone in a completely natural environment. Here the traumas of adolescence were released into a feast of distance and solitude. When I was in a natural place, I could be myself, naturally. No need for artificial smiles, bravado, or attachment to gang behaviours you didn’t believe in. You could just stare at the horizon and be peaceful. You could simply be – although I wasn’t aware it had anything to do with the spirits just then.

But that practice has stayed with me always and now I know differently.

Now I know that in order for us to be well; body, mind and spirits, we need to check in with the natural universe from where the spirit comes. We need contact with ourselves and contact with the earth and the wider universe. Simple awareness will do, meditation, call it what you will, but it won’t be denied.

As long as I have that, a pain in the hip or a twinge in the joints can all be eased. It just takes a moment of appreciation in the way the sunshine can lick the fields into loveliness and I am well. A walk in the raging winds can whoosh deep rooted storms away from both the land and the soul. The song of the rising Lark can pick up my spirits from my boots and lift them high enough for me to see the light all around and beyond the oppressive troubles we attach ourselves to so deeply we become consumed. The lesson in my mother’s face taught me that early on.

When my mother died I felt crumpled and consumed with grief. I lay on the soggy bedcover not wanting to face the world. Yet something told me to get up and open the window and seek the solace I have always found in a breath of fresh breeze, the smell of soil or sea, the touch of nature’s palm. So I did.

And I do not believe that it was coincidence that, at the very moment I leaned from the bedroom window, the sweetest shrillest blackbird began to sing!