Tag Archive | home education

There’s no ‘right’ way to educate

Children learn best from experiences

Having home educated our children I’m often asked for advice.

I’m no expert – there are many who home educated longer than we did, but I thought I’d offer this post again in the hope you might find some useful tips.

One of the most important pieces of advice is to get your head round the idea in the title!

Schooling has made us think that the opposite is the case – that we have to educate the school way otherwise the children won’t learn anything. In reality there are as many ways to approach learning as there are to approach parenting.

The biggest advantage of home educating is that you can tailor your approach to suit your child and your circumstances. But to do that it might be that you have to change the way you think about education and learning.

Following are some things to consider:

  • There’s no single right way to learn. A good way to approach your home educating life is to always keep your child’s needs – and the way they learn best, rather than how others are learning – at the forefront of your thinking.
  • Don’t get tied up in trying to stick to one approach, e.g. either ‘autonomous’ or ‘structured’ for the sake of it, just use what works when it works.
  • Your child grows and changes constantly. This means you’ll need to change your approach as they do so. Review and adapt, meet new people and try out their ideas. A flexible approach is far, far better than a rigid one.
  • Discard the idea, which schooling promotes, that certain things have to be achieved within certain time frames. They don’t – and this won’t harm your child’s education. There’s no rush and it’s no race against others either. Your child won’t ‘miss out’ if they don’t learn something at the same time others do. Most of the HEors we grew with did things within different time frames and now they’re all over twenty it doesn’t make any difference.
  • And another aspect of time; we know it takes years for a child to grow – yet with education we seem to want results overnight. Remember that education is a bit like growing your hair; you keep staring at it in the mirror and it doesn’t seem any longer. But next year, when you look back at old photos you know it has grown. Education is like that – like when relatives haven’t seen the kids for ages and then say ‘my, haven’t you changed’! That’s how education develops – without you even knowing it’s happening.
  • And you don’t need to test that it’s happening either. This doesn’t help kids grow. Tests in schools are not for the kids’ sake – they are for the grown-ups and the politics. I was talking to an ex-head teacher the other day and she said that they prepared masses of notes and test results for the teachers when their primary children moved up to secondary but they were never looked at.
  • Education is a long-term thing. And there are no short cuts. The very best you can do is to make your children’s activities enjoyable each day, and be patient.
  • Another thing about time is that children only take one small moment to learn something. There is a huge amount of time wasted in a school day. Your child at home with you will have lots and lots of time for play and personal pursuits. These are as valuable, educative and developmental as anything academic.
  • Contrary to what most people think kids don’t necessarily learn from being taught. They learn from experiences and from being actively engaged in their learning. Find practical ways for them to be actively engaged.
  • Nowhere is there any law that says education has to be stressy, rushed, tense or unpleasant. It is far more effective if it is the opposite.
  • Each day your child is physically active, busy, practically engaged or creative they will be developing. Academic exercise is only one small part, best left till later.
  • Make each day a good one; happy, busy, fulfilling, relaxed – as much as possible and don’t worry about the not so good, because there’s plenty of not-so-good in school! Then, all those good days pieced together will eventually make a good education.

Since there is so much information dotted around this blog supporting home educators, rather than you having to trawl through my other posts, they’re collated in one book; ‘A Home Education Notebook – to encourage and inspire’, so check it out when you need another lift. And the fun story about the home educating life; ‘A Funny Kind of Education’ also has plenty of tips.

The Home Educating Families’ Festival

How many of you are going to the Home Educating Families’ Festival this time? Isn’t it amazing to think that there are so many families out there home educating now they’re the size of a small festival! Even without the many who don’t go!

Not being a festival kinda girl I’ve never been before. But one of the organisers approached me last year with a charming ask so I have agreed to go over and chat to people about home education, answer any questions you’d like to ask and talk a little about the books – especially A Funny Kind of Education and how it came to be. I’ll take a few books across with me too, so you’ll get the chance to buy a slightly cheaper copy!

I’m really looking forward to meeting new people and maybe some of you who have connected with me already. We’ll be able to see each other in the flesh; much better than online! That’s the bit I’m looking forward to most.

Many people get in touch with me and tell me so kindly how I’ve inspired their family’s choices. Well that works both ways; you inspire me too. Every time I meet new families on the home educating path I am inspired also.

So do come and say hello, especially if you’ve connected already and bring any questions you’ve wanted to ask as that’s the kind of session it’s going to be. Although I’d better apologise up front if I don’t remember your online handle and recognise who you are. But even under those circumstances I’ve always so appreciated your warm support.

I’m around on Monday afternoon, between 2 and 4, stage 2. Any concerns; bring them along.

A cuddle on the sofa like we used to do!

She and I having a cuddle!

You know when you’re with the little ones a hundred percent of the time, most particularly when home educating? And you know how you sometimes long for a bit of space for yourself, even though you love them to bits and love home schooling?

Well, I’ve just been with my eldest (Chelsea, from A Funny Kind of Education) one hundred percent of the time, for the last few days, and now I’ve left her in her grown up life again and returned to being one hundred percent of the time without and one hundred percent missing, until it wears off again! And I never imagined that would ever be the case.

One day it will be like that for your family even though it is unimaginable whilst they’re tiny – I know some of you are already reaching that point; when they’re launched into their working lives, living independently with conscience and responsibility, as you raise them to do.

Hard to believe isn’t it?

I’ve had a lovely holiday doing – surprisingly – much of what we did when they were here full time home schooling; picnics, walking, looking at nature, observing things, beach, meeting friends, endless chatting and sometimes just sitting on the sofa having a cuddle like we used to do. I’m glad that neither of us are too old for that!

But instead of that chatter being about infant things, it’s adult chatter, yet just as lovely, better even as we have long, in depth conversations about all sorts of things from clothes to politics, philosophies to mindless giggles! But then I suppose we always did that. And it’s perhaps no surprise at all.

So you see, home education DOES work! These children that learn without school go on to being independent, working people just the same as those who’ve been in school, same as young people everywhere. Thought I’d say just in case you were wobbling today, or someone was criticising you for it.

And I also wanted to tell you that with home educating, there are continual pleasures to look forward to, even when they’re grown.

Making my mouldy bits shiny!

 I’m off on a little holiday. And looking forward to refreshing and rubbing the mould off my stale bits!

It’s easy not to notice it growing. But when I get so bored that complacency and loss of love of the nice things sets in so bad that I realise I’ve even got used to life looking grey and fuzzy, I know I need to do something about it.

New experiences recharge and polish up those rusty complacent bits.

It’s the same for the kids. they seem to come alive in new places.

Far from switching off their brains, new experiences boost their development and education in ways we sometimes fail to appreciate. New experiences bring new opportunities for discussion and questions, consequently new language (even if still English), new imaginings, development of new neural pathways and growth of intelligence. It’s all good stuff.

So whenever you have the chance to get away and take the kids with you rest assured you’ll be developing their mental agility as you develop their horizons – yours along with them. And enjoying yourself meanwhile. Holidays are as educational (if not more) as studying at home.

Home educators have the chance to do that all the time, funds allowing. Anyway, cheap holidays (we used the relatives in different parts of the country mercilessly) are as valuable as exotic ones. It’s the newness that counts.

It’s such a shame that schooling inhibits so many families from doing the same, pretending it disrupts the child’s education. It doesn’t really. What it more accurately disrupts is ticks on sheets and stats on tables, but I’ve never considered that true education anyway.

True education takes place in true life – not necessarily school life. And it takes place any where at any time, as most home educators discover, whether on holiday or not.

So wherever you take yours, may it be a happy and restorative (if educative) one and make your mouldy bits shiny again! More whenI’m back.

What would your word be?

I was thinking about LOVE the other day.

mind mapping doodles

Not particularly the love between two partners. Or the love parents have for their children, although both are precious and were involved in it.

I was thinking about it in respect of the work I was doing.

When you work for yourself, and by yourself as most writers do, you’re often looking for help and support wherever you can find it. there are no colleagues or work mates to see each day, bounce ideas off, solve your problems, or give you a morning’s encouragement. So I was looking for that through reading. And I came across this question: What is the word that describes what you want in life and which would drive your decisions?

Someone had quoted ‘freedom’. But that wasn’t my word, I reckoned. So what would my word be?

It took some thinking about before I came to the conclusion that my word would be LOVE.

Love is what fuels our focus, binds us to our important people, drives our purpose and weaves threads of pleasure to hold our day together with something other than work. Whether that’s love for each other, loving to care, love for our homes and our sanctuary in whatever form, love for our lifestyle and  work indirectly as it may seem hard but helps us buy the things we need. Even with the imperfections that there inevitably will surely be, there is still love.

But sometimes it gets buried.

When you’re a parent you get anxious. It’s impossible not to really. When you’re a home educating parent that anxiety can get doubled. Although it shouldn’t be; home educating is no more of a threat to our kids’ well being and education than school is! But going against the groove of convention doesn’t often ignite feelings of confidence, and sometimes we need confidence to love.

The trouble with anxiety is that it can mask love.

So this post is just a reminder to say; remember the LOVE as you parent and home educate.

You had children because of love. Your parent practices evolved because you love your kids. And you home educate because you wanted to do what you thought was right by them.

But don’t let an intensity over education mask the real important gentle love that you need to give time for. Do things some days just for love. See what transpires.

I know that there were days I got too intense and messed up because I lost touch with the important love.

So I thought I’d just bring that to the forefront of your thinking.

Have a lovely day!

And do let me know what your word would be!

Home educating just feels so normal!

May using her map

I was recently contacted by Anja, the author and creator of these super little story maps for children: http://taletrails.co.uk/what-are-tale-trails

We were in touch because she and her husband were researching home education and had recently read ‘A Funny Kind of Education’. She told me that once they read it they both made the same comment at the same time: ‘it feels so normal’!

I was delighted – as I’d wanted to show home education as a natural way of raising and educating children. Good to hear it’s doing its job.

Following their research, they’ve decided to home educate their daughter May, who’ll be four in July, rather than starting school. So I took the opportunity to ask her about their decision. And about her work creating the Tale Trails.

Anja told me that it was after May started at nursery and never really settled there that they began thinking about it in earnest.

School has been a bit of a stressful topic for the last year and so we started to research other options.

I have always been aware of home education but being an ex-teacher had never considered it. I initially watched YouTube videos that other home educating families had posted online and came across Ross’s. (Click here)

I asked Anja what kind of reactions they’ve had from family and friends about their decision to home educate and how they might approach it.

We have recently told close friends and family that we will be home educating for May’s reception year and that we will take each year as it comes after that. Everyone we have told is supportive and understanding so far. 

I think day to day life will be similar for the first year. We may start introducing some basics if the opportunity arises. May loves baking so weights and measurement always seem to pop up. She already helps me with the maps and children’s stories that I create for Tale Trails so I am sure she will continue to enjoy that! 

Myself and my husband both work part time so balancing family life and work is already well practiced, although it can be tricky at times. Berni is a mountain leader and I write story walks. May often comes out with me to help create maps and stories for Tale Trails and we often go with dad in our campervan and park up beneath the mountain he is guiding on! 

We are planning on moving to an area where other folks are home educating but we will certainly be taking each day as it comes and hope to enjoy living in the moment as much as possible”.

That sounds like a perfect way to approach home educating – with that kind of flexibility and connection with real life and learning which basically happens all the time. It’s clear from the activities May already does with her parents that’s she’s already learning many skills. It’s not necessary to make the sudden dramatic change in style of educating, as occurs when children begin formal school. Education happens continually and organically through an engaged approach to parenting and family life!

The Grumbletrog

Take a look at some of the Tale Trails and see if there’s one for your area. They’re a perfect resource for home educating days out in the field, the children will love the stories and be intrigued by the adventure through the map reading!

I asked Anja what inspired her to do them. She said; “I actually got the idea one day when I was walking with my husband in the Lake district and felt disillusioned with work. He said to me ‘what is it you actually enjoy doing?’ and I said ‘I love exploring new places and creating stories about them’ and he said ‘well just do that then!’ and that was it! I am doing one for Walney island in Cumbria at the moment and wherever folks ask me to do one if it’s a suitable environment. I mainly just do commissions now and I love seeing who contacts me!”

Many thanks to Anja for sharing their story.

Schooling reminds me of Sat Navs!

It was partly the girls’ comments for my last post on the significance of home educating and partly the sad journey back to the train station as they were leaving that made me think of Sat Nav’s.

And that’s when the similarities struck me.

Sat Nav’s are very useful. But the girls’ remarks about ‘obedience’ and ‘permission’ were still buzzing around in my head, like that automated voice that says; ‘turn around where possible’!

It made me think that although Sat Nav’s have a use, the downside of them is that they can both condition us in a tendency to be obedient and inhibit the growth of our independence, if we’re not on our guard.

Think about it: you soon become a slave to the Sat Nav if you don’t have either the skills to understand a map, or the knowledge that there are other routes and choices should you wish to make them.

The schooling system does the same; it can inhibit you from knowing that there are other routes and other choices in life ahead than those the system would have you obedient to! And the system wants everyone obedient. It much easier for them. Much easier for them to perpetuate their strange ideas about what kids need. Much easier for them to perpetuate their own glorification!

Much easier for them if you have to seek permission to think for yourself, as the girls observed in some people.

Permission.

It’s one of those words that always comes up in Life Coaching or inspirational workshops and techniques? When you’re supposed to give yourself permission to do the things you love, live the lifestyle you want and not be a slave to convention. How many of us are actually unquestioning slaves to convention, so much so that we never even realise? Never even realise that we don’t make many of the choices that we could because, firstly we don’t know they’re there and secondly, we unwittingly feel we haven’t the permission to make them?

Right from being small we are conditioned to be so. Schooling certainly conditions us to be obedient to a certain way of learning, obedient to a future they would set out for us. And before you know what’s happening we’ve lost the skills and the independence to learn any other way (and there are lots of other ways), or the skills to live a life with independent thought and independent choice.

Sat nav’s can be useful. Schools can be useful. Curriculum, courses, workshops, route planners, convention, can all be useful – at times, maybe even a lot of the time.

But we must always encourage our children to see the multitude of choices – some that might be less conventional, to keep a broad and open mind, give them the thinking and reasoning skills to use it through conversations, explorations, experiences, varied activities and exposure to a range of ideas.

And show them how obedience and route planning of any sort is only useful when it is an explored and valid CHOICE.

And when you know that you do have the choice to turn things around when possible, whatever those things may be?