Tag Archive | education

You’re not finished yet

If you’ve read ‘A Funny Kind of Education’ you’ll remember me telling the story of a close friend and the terrible angst she experienced because of the neglect of her Dyslexic son in school. (Find it on the Books page)

Basically they’d written him off completely and he and a class of ‘disruptive’ others who no one cared about were told they were ‘unteachable’. Enough to make any one disruptive. As the lad said at the time; ‘what’s the point of even trying when they’ve already decided we’re not going to make the grade?’ He was willing to learn. But without support and understanding he was unable to in that climate.

She and I met for coffee the other day. Yep – we still do that together after all these years, still support each other

Trying to hide behind her glasses!

My dear friend trying to hide behind her glasses!

through the tough bits, and still swap notes about our ‘children’ now successfully out in the world despite our angst.

We were remembering the times back then when her worries were intense. Following the time described in the book  her young teen was farmed out of the school to do various other ‘activities’, none of which he wanted to do and none of which were really of any value. Except to keep him off the school stats, of course, as she sees it now. (She’s been with me too long!)

“The one thing that kept me going and kept my faith in him intact,” she said over cake – yep we still do that too, “was something you kept saying to me at the time when my doubts were uppermost.”

“What was that?” I was thinking back fast. I’ve made some terrible gaffes in the past.

“Well you were always adamant he was intelligent, even though dyslexia was hampering his results in school. But the best thing you kept saying was ‘he’s not finished yet’. It was so reassuring. And I think about that a lot now. Even in relation to myself and the things I still want to do’.

It’s a good one to keep by you for when you’re fretting over the kids or something you feel you’re not achieving. You can use it about schooling, home education or about your own personal development.

As an update, thanks to her continual support from home and working through stuff with him, her son went on to college where he received suitable help for his dyslexia, then Uni, graduated, has a good job. She kept her faith in him throughout and credits me with prompting her by say ‘what are his needs now?’ whenever she panicked about ‘the future’.

Her daughter whom she home schooled for a while (starting at the end of the book) has just completed her doctorate. That would not have been the case, she feels, if their education had been left in the hands of the system without parental help and belief.

So whether you home educate or your children are in school, if you’re wobbling over certain things not being achieved yet just remember; the kids are not finished yet. Stay on their side, keep believing and keep with their needs now.

And remember, you’re not finished yet either, whatever age you are!

How many GCSEs does it take to breed neglect?

I’m not only a home educating parent! I am other things as well.

And our kids are not just home school kids, they are other things too.

It’s just it can feel all consuming sometimes and become a single identity it’s hard to break. People love to keep others in labelled boxes!

Equally, school kids are not only their grades. Although you’d think that with the way some people are obsessed over them, as if it was the only thing their life was about.

Speaking to a young teen doing ten GCSEs at school at the moment it certainly felt like it for him. It’s become his whole life without room for anything else, each teacher expecting an undivided dedication to their subject when there are nine others also expecting the same.

Nightmare! Or mental illness in the making.

The people and the politics which push the system seem to believe that the harder they push the kids along this line the cleverer they’ll be. This is the propaganda parents are sold.

But the reality doesn’t work that way at all.

The approach which makes the kids ‘cleverer’ if that’s the term – generally intelligent is a better way to describe it –  is diversity. Diversity of skills, of thoughts, of experiences most particularly. The more varied those experiences, pursuits, activities, hobbies, pastimes, interests and learning, the broader and deeper their intelligence will be. And the greater their personable skills which are essential for life and work after school.

The more home educated young adults I see the more it’s obvious how broad minded, open to learning and intelligent they are, some without doing GCSEs at all. They are articulate, inclusive, empathetic, very social and willing. Forging an independent future with an entrepreneurial approach to getting where they want to go.

This is usually because of the range of experiences they’ve been exposed to during their time learning out of school. And this diversity of experience is sadly what the school GCSE treadmill neglects, thus neglecting the broadness of education that will stand kids in good stead for the future and, I feel, letting so many of them down, chaining them to a track that leaves little time for anything else.

GCSEs are useful. But only if you’ve got the other set of skills needed to know what to do with them and how to do it.

Ten GCSEs are not necessary. Many home schooled kids stick to the standard five and engage in a range of other activities that develop other necessary skills for life ahead. Like conversing with people for a start. Knowing what they want and what they want to go for.

So if you’ve got youngsters out of the system don’t buy into the propaganda that they need heads down at academic study all the time. Exclusive academia makes them dull – Unis and employers don’t want that.

Heads up and engaged with other things is what extends their intelligence and is just as educative.

By using the opportunity home educating gives you to broaden their experiences and activities you’ll also be broadening their brains and personalities, developing the other lifeskills they need to propel themselves towards a fulfilling and productive future that takes them beyond being a homeschool kid!

Their education is not just their GCSEs!

Advice from the daughter!

I’ve just returned from another trip to see my eldest in the city – a very different lifestyle from the one she started out with here. 20161004_121611

The wrench of parting doesn’t seem to get any easier dammit! I realise this after looking back through my posts to earlier visits with her. But we still have just as much fun. And we’re still always learning. Although as I said in my blog post at the time…

It’s me being educated as I discover new grown bits of this vibrant adult. Not only is she working to keep a roof over her head, she is keeping her more creative passions alive with her performing, teaching others, running a business, and developing her own productions thus creating opportunities for others.

And some people accused us of creating ‘jobless, no-hopers’ by home educating our children.

Some people are just unbearably narrow minded.

“So, I want to ask you a question,” I said as we sat over coffee in a brimming cafe full of others sheltering from the chill. Not the kind of hubbub I’m generally used to in my reclusive, rural, writerly days.

“Other parents just starting home educating want encouragement. What advice would you give to parents and children?”

She burst out laughing over the thought of herself giving advice – she didn’t feel that grown up! But then launched into one of those passionate, pro-active, inspirational outbursts I admire so much.

“I would say – encourage experience in any subject they might be interested in or show passion for whether you know about it or not and don’t just stick to the constraints of the National Curriculum. There are thousands of other subjects which are ignored. Don’t discredit subjects that are not academic subjects … do you want to produce a clone or someone who has had a wide experience of different subjects which could be applied to a spectrum of different careers? And to the kids I would say – don’t just follow the crowd, follow your own interests whether they’re deemed to be ‘normal’ or not.”

Laughter bubbles up again and I catch it too! We both know what an independent spirit she is and how she wants to inspire others to be the same. So much for home educating keeping kids cloistered!

I thought about this on the long way back. Before I go to bed after one o’clock by this time I let her know I’m back safe and we swap loving texts. Among the love there’s more advice to swap;

‘Every day life is about learning is it not!” she writes.

She is so right. I am learning. She loves learning. And I’m convinced that she discovered that from home education!


Fab time!

I had a delightful time meeting parents at the Home Education Fair in London.
Thank you so much to all who came up to me to tell me how helpful the books have been. I’m overwhelmed by your kind compliments. 20161002_120726

Quite amazing to see the increase in interest in home education. Although when I hear accounts of some schools’ practices and approaches that shouldn’t be surprising. And not surprising to hear that parents want to encourage their children to learn in a different way from the hot housing and political wangling that the system has made of education.

It seems there are all sorts of reason parents turn to home education; some as a result of problems in school, some decide before the kids even get to school because they’re so disenchanted by the system. And it crosses all ages of children now from toddlers to teens. Some kids never go to school at all, some go for parts of it, some end up out of it at a later stage. It also crosses all the social, cultural, financial, educational climes as well. And it’s wonderful to see parents making a stand against the political manipulation of children as pawns to raise popularity with voters.

I always thought I was a cynic thinking this way about the education system. But as I’ve seen the joy of learning taken away from children, teachers and schools, I feel it even more strongly now.

Home educating (or home schooling as it’s sometimes referred too – see this post) puts the joy back into learning and education, as it should be. It also puts charge back in the hands of the parents which actually the law says is required of them.

Someone said to me recently; ‘Home education is a huge commitment on the part of the parent, isn’t it?’

I find this remark quite astonishing really. Having children is already a commitment isn’t it?

How committed are we? Educating children in whatever form is also already a commitment. It’s just there are increasing numbers of parents that are unwilling to hand that over to a governmental system that’s failing to front up to their commitment to children instead of their own political agenda!

I met some fab parents and some fab young people thriving and achieving through home education in a way I doubt they would through schooling.

Well done you all. Lovely to meet you!

Home education has brought me closer to my teen!

Back in January a parent got in touch with me about her fourteen year old, the effect that school was having on her, and their desire to home educate. After swapping advice and encouragement at the time, I hadn’t heard from her until recently when she sent me an update.

It’s so inspiring to read how others have progressed that I asked her permission to post it here in the hope of inspiring you all too.

This is what mum Jacqui said in January:

I deregistered my 14 year old daughter Katie who is in year 9 at the end of last term. Katie simply wasn’t coping well with the upcoming exam pressure and found the way things are taught these days was unstimulating and she was constantly comparing her work with her peers and feeling downhearted.
She had begun to have panic attacks and we came to a joint decision that home ed would be better for her.
I replied to the LA when they asked for a form to be filled in and a visit. I declined to fill in the form as it didn’t seem applicable to where we are at the moment and I asked for a six month settling in period and told them I would use this time to follow Katie’s interests and get out and about.
The only problem is I have a constant nagging voice(my own), telling me we need to get going with something more structured, although I think this may turn Katie off. I guess I fear that when the LA do get back in touch I will have little or nothing to show to them.
We are hoping that Katie can do level 1 photography and GCSE maths and English at a local college in September, at the moment she is ok with this.
I have read both your books; A Funny Kind of Education and Learning Without School and would very much value your thoughts on a possible way forward.

(I responded to this letting her know her rights with regard to the LA and what they’re not allowed to do, and suggested that she allowed Katie to follow her interests and try and ignore her nagging voice!)

And here is her update this month:

The delightful Katie and mum Jacqui

The delightful Katie and mum Jacqui

I was just looking back to when we began home educating Katie and read through my original comment on your Blog page and your kind, encouraging response.
I just thought I would send you a quick update on how things have progressed for us. We began with quite a structured approach as Katie said she was used to working to a timetable and felt better knowing what to expect each day. Well this didn’t last for very long and over time we have found ourselves much more Autonomous and it’s been lovely to see Katie’s creative juices start to flow again.
During the year we have visited the beach, Eureka, local historic halls, The Beatles experience in Liverpool, Nature reserves, paddled in rivers, parks, attended a Classical concert, the cinema and lots more. We have also consumed huge amounts of cake, hot chocolate and milkshake in too many coffee shops to mention!
Katie has taken a real liking to baking, photography and playing the Ukulele and Keyboard (all self taught).
Another positive to Home ed is how much closer we have become, and I truly believe that because of the extra time we’ve spent together we have a greater respect for each other and our separate interests, we have of course had our fair share of disagreements too (mostly because of my anxiety over having to be ‘doing something productive’ to collect as evidence for the LA).
One of the funniest moments was when I saw an ad for a local minibus company offering ‘local days out’ I rang and booked us on a trip to Whalley Abbey, only had to pay half price for Katie and they said on the phone they offered a door to door service, all seemed too good to be true. Well the day arrived and we were kindly ushered onto the bus, to find there wasn’t a passenger under the age of seventy and I’ve never seen so many zimmer frames in one place in my life. Katie’s face was a picture and she hasn’t let me off the hook yet!
If you remember I was rather concerned about the upcoming visit from the LA. I gathered together lots of photographs, my diary and a small amount of Katie’s work, we chatted for a while and I explained that Katie isn’t a fan of writing anything down unless she can see a point to it, which he seemed to understand. Anyway in the end he said “Well I think I’ve seen quite enough and taken up enough of your time.” He seemed quite satisfied and is happy to leave us be for another twelve months.
Katie has begun a photography course one day a week at a local college and so far so good. Many thanks again for your earlier advice. I have added you to our FB page ‘Lost in Education’ Congratulations also on your new book ‘A home education notebook’,  I had it on reserve on Amazon and it sits by my bed ready for me to dip into at anytime.

Grateful thanks to Jacqui and Katie for sharing their story with us.

Let’s meet at the Home Education Fair

I’m excited to be going to the Home Education Fair in London this year.

It’s on Sunday 2nd of October from 11am till 3pm, and offers an opportunity to meet home educating parents, get some information, listen to talks and even have tea and cake!

The full details are on their website here: https://sites.google.com/site/homeeducationfair/

If you’re in London and want to learn more about home education and meet some of the lovely people doing it, do come along. And come over and say hello to me on my book stall too! It’d be lovely to meet you.

London 2016 poster

Picture from edyourself.org

Extend your parenting towards home education

If you want to home educate and are not sure you have the skills consider this; home educating is simply an extension of your parenting skills.

Of course, parenting isn’t exactly simple – we know that. But since you’re already on your way with it, you can extend what you’ve already learned about parenting into home educating with relative ease as it contains all the same elements; conscious attention to your child, trial and error approaches, patience and empathy, understanding and encouragement. And research – as much as asking your friends, other parents, home educators and through online forums as academic stuff.

Like you were forced to do when your baby came and upskittled your recognisable world. What a steep learning curve that was! But you did it. You didn’t teeter or waver or hang indecisively about on the edge of parenthood, wondering whether you should parent or not. You were thrown in the deep end and learnt as you went along. You connected with other parents, read, went online, shared problems, found solutions. When your baby’s born there’s no should-we-or-shouldn’t-we, you just got on with it. And you’ve grown enormously I would guess, certainly in experience. Experience teaches and develops confidence.

You can do that with home education. You can jump right in – probably after a little preliminary research as you no

A rather grainy one from the archives!

A rather grainy one from the archives! Charley and I pond dipping and you can read how the wellies got painted in ‘A Funny Kind of Education’

doubt did before the first baby, learn as you go along, connect with others and find the answers you need. There is such a treasure trove of information and support in online forums, blogs, websites, social media sites which also lead to physical groups and meet ups. Like with parenting you can sift advice, copy what others do, try out approaches, review, modify and adapt to make things work for you. The more you’re in it the more you’ll understand about it, how different learning approaches work and what works for you.

We develop many skills as we parent our 0 – 5 child. We taught them many skills too. You didn’t need ‘qualified’ parent status to do so.

The simply truth is we don’t need a ‘qualified’ educator status to extend those skills into facilitating our child’s further learning. We can begin with the skills we have already that are based in our parenting; care, encouragement, communication, inspiration, respect, interest in learning. These are the skills we need more than any other. From these all the more complicated stuff will grow and develop.

Any interested parent who is caring and engaged, interesting and respectful, can extend their parenting skills into home educating skills. It’s as simple as that.