Tag Archive | education

Home education has brought me closer to my teen!

Back in January a parent got in touch with me about her fourteen year old, the effect that school was having on her, and their desire to home educate. After swapping advice and encouragement at the time, I hadn’t heard from her until recently when she sent me an update.

It’s so inspiring to read how others have progressed that I asked her permission to post it here in the hope of inspiring you all too.

This is what mum Jacqui said in January:

I deregistered my 14 year old daughter Katie who is in year 9 at the end of last term. Katie simply wasn’t coping well with the upcoming exam pressure and found the way things are taught these days was unstimulating and she was constantly comparing her work with her peers and feeling downhearted.
She had begun to have panic attacks and we came to a joint decision that home ed would be better for her.
I replied to the LA when they asked for a form to be filled in and a visit. I declined to fill in the form as it didn’t seem applicable to where we are at the moment and I asked for a six month settling in period and told them I would use this time to follow Katie’s interests and get out and about.
The only problem is I have a constant nagging voice(my own), telling me we need to get going with something more structured, although I think this may turn Katie off. I guess I fear that when the LA do get back in touch I will have little or nothing to show to them.
We are hoping that Katie can do level 1 photography and GCSE maths and English at a local college in September, at the moment she is ok with this.
I have read both your books; A Funny Kind of Education and Learning Without School and would very much value your thoughts on a possible way forward.

(I responded to this letting her know her rights with regard to the LA and what they’re not allowed to do, and suggested that she allowed Katie to follow her interests and try and ignore her nagging voice!)

And here is her update this month:

The delightful Katie and mum Jacqui

The delightful Katie and mum Jacqui

I was just looking back to when we began home educating Katie and read through my original comment on your Blog page and your kind, encouraging response.
I just thought I would send you a quick update on how things have progressed for us. We began with quite a structured approach as Katie said she was used to working to a timetable and felt better knowing what to expect each day. Well this didn’t last for very long and over time we have found ourselves much more Autonomous and it’s been lovely to see Katie’s creative juices start to flow again.
During the year we have visited the beach, Eureka, local historic halls, The Beatles experience in Liverpool, Nature reserves, paddled in rivers, parks, attended a Classical concert, the cinema and lots more. We have also consumed huge amounts of cake, hot chocolate and milkshake in too many coffee shops to mention!
Katie has taken a real liking to baking, photography and playing the Ukulele and Keyboard (all self taught).
Another positive to Home ed is how much closer we have become, and I truly believe that because of the extra time we’ve spent together we have a greater respect for each other and our separate interests, we have of course had our fair share of disagreements too (mostly because of my anxiety over having to be ‘doing something productive’ to collect as evidence for the LA).
One of the funniest moments was when I saw an ad for a local minibus company offering ‘local days out’ I rang and booked us on a trip to Whalley Abbey, only had to pay half price for Katie and they said on the phone they offered a door to door service, all seemed too good to be true. Well the day arrived and we were kindly ushered onto the bus, to find there wasn’t a passenger under the age of seventy and I’ve never seen so many zimmer frames in one place in my life. Katie’s face was a picture and she hasn’t let me off the hook yet!
If you remember I was rather concerned about the upcoming visit from the LA. I gathered together lots of photographs, my diary and a small amount of Katie’s work, we chatted for a while and I explained that Katie isn’t a fan of writing anything down unless she can see a point to it, which he seemed to understand. Anyway in the end he said “Well I think I’ve seen quite enough and taken up enough of your time.” He seemed quite satisfied and is happy to leave us be for another twelve months.
Katie has begun a photography course one day a week at a local college and so far so good. Many thanks again for your earlier advice. I have added you to our FB page ‘Lost in Education’ Congratulations also on your new book ‘A home education notebook’,  I had it on reserve on Amazon and it sits by my bed ready for me to dip into at anytime.

Grateful thanks to Jacqui and Katie for sharing their story with us.

Let’s meet at the Home Education Fair

I’m excited to be going to the Home Education Fair in London this year.

It’s on Sunday 2nd of October from 11am till 3pm, and offers an opportunity to meet home educating parents, get some information, listen to talks and even have tea and cake!

The full details are on their website here: https://sites.google.com/site/homeeducationfair/

If you’re in London and want to learn more about home education and meet some of the lovely people doing it, do come along. And come over and say hello to me on my book stall too! It’d be lovely to meet you.

London 2016 poster

Picture from edyourself.org

Extend your parenting towards home education

If you want to home educate and are not sure you have the skills consider this; home educating is simply an extension of your parenting skills.

Of course, parenting isn’t exactly simple – we know that. But since you’re already on your way with it, you can extend what you’ve already learned about parenting into home educating with relative ease as it contains all the same elements; conscious attention to your child, trial and error approaches, patience and empathy, understanding and encouragement. And research – as much as asking your friends, other parents, home educators and through online forums as academic stuff.

Like you were forced to do when your baby came and upskittled your recognisable world. What a steep learning curve that was! But you did it. You didn’t teeter or waver or hang indecisively about on the edge of parenthood, wondering whether you should parent or not. You were thrown in the deep end and learnt as you went along. You connected with other parents, read, went online, shared problems, found solutions. When your baby’s born there’s no should-we-or-shouldn’t-we, you just got on with it. And you’ve grown enormously I would guess, certainly in experience. Experience teaches and develops confidence.

You can do that with home education. You can jump right in – probably after a little preliminary research as you no

A rather grainy one from the archives!

A rather grainy one from the archives! Charley and I pond dipping and you can read how the wellies got painted in ‘A Funny Kind of Education’

doubt did before the first baby, learn as you go along, connect with others and find the answers you need. There is such a treasure trove of information and support in online forums, blogs, websites, social media sites which also lead to physical groups and meet ups. Like with parenting you can sift advice, copy what others do, try out approaches, review, modify and adapt to make things work for you. The more you’re in it the more you’ll understand about it, how different learning approaches work and what works for you.

We develop many skills as we parent our 0 – 5 child. We taught them many skills too. You didn’t need ‘qualified’ parent status to do so.

The simply truth is we don’t need a ‘qualified’ educator status to extend those skills into facilitating our child’s further learning. We can begin with the skills we have already that are based in our parenting; care, encouragement, communication, inspiration, respect, interest in learning. These are the skills we need more than any other. From these all the more complicated stuff will grow and develop.

Any interested parent who is caring and engaged, interesting and respectful, can extend their parenting skills into home educating skills. It’s as simple as that.

Surely not grammar schools again?

I’ve got a heavy heart this morning. This is because of the recent news about the government’s desire to take us back into the darker ages of divisive education again, via the grammar school system.

Pupils at Altrincham grammar school for boys.

Can Grammars ever be inclusive? Click on the pic for article.

If ever there was anything so segregating then this is it. I cannot see how it is of any benefit to learners. Only of benefit to those who would be elite – feeding the adult snobbery surrounding education that I’d hoped we were moving away from.

Read the articles here; http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-37311023

For children to learn and succeed they need to be comfortable, encouraged and inspired. That should be happening in all schools. All schools should offer the opportunity for children to flourish whatever background they come from, whatever home, street, cultural climate. Anyone at any time should be able to facilitate the learning they need in order to achieve the ‘social mobility’ they desire, whatever school they are in, whatever part of the country.

Some children are academically able. Some are not – they have other skills and attributes. But are no less intelligent. This is harping back to the days where we didn’t acknowledge these differences and will widen the divide between the academically elite and those whose strengths lie in other skills. I see this as no better than clustering all those with skateboarding skills together in elite schools, just because they have skateboarding skills, and disregarding all those with other skills – it’s as narrowing as that. Put like that you can see how stupid it is. Academic skills are just one set of skills and not the only ones necessary for leading a successful and happy life. We need a range of skills – particularly practical skills – and all skills should be equally appreciated.

All schools should be equal. That should be a given. Area, wealth and circumstance are already vastly unequal – we all know that. Surely, surely, all institutions of education should be places where that’s not relevant, where children will all be treated to the same opportunities for growth.

I see the elitist politicians, living in their elitist enclaves, untouched by the challenges the majority of the rest of us face and I recoil in the face of their ignorance and oblivion and their decisions based in their elitism.

This is just another blatant example of that.

Sad, sad times!

Five common worries parents have before they home educate

Many parents tell me they’d like to home educate but don’t do so because of the same common concerns. Here’s five of them and how to view them differently:

1) I’m not clever enough to teach my children anything.

If you’re clever enough to raise your child past toddler stage, toileting stage, eating stage, speaking stage, you are clever enough to extend those skills you have to their further learning. Because that’s what they’ve been doing with you so far – learning. Everything you’d need to know and understand is online. Every fact your child would need to know is online. The support you need is also online and can lead you to groups and physical meet-ups. You don’t need to be clever. You need to be skilled; as in kind, encouraging, willing to learn and research and happy to give some time to your child. You are probably that already!

2) I worry my child will have no friends

All the home educated children I know and have met have friends. Schools DO NOT have the monopoly on friendships and are not always the healthiest place to forge them. Children make friends at school because they happen to be there. Children make friends wherever they happen to be; park, football, music groups, cubs, gaming, and similar activities and online. They also make friends among the home schooled community through regular meet-ups, family swaps and social events.

3) I’m afraid of leaving the mainstream and feeling isolated.

An important fact: just because you’re leaving mainstream schooling it doesn’t mean you’re leaving mainstream life! You do all the ‘normal mainstream’ things all parents do and integrate with other mainstream families whilst you’re doing it. Isolation comes through lack of communication and connection and is not to do with physical isolation which doesn’t happen anyway – you’re so busy connecting with others. Some of your connections may change – you’ll make new ones. But if the people you are with are making you feel isolated because of your choices or beliefs then I suggest you choose different friends!

4) I’m afraid my kids won’t learn anything

Look at your kids. They’ve learned loads already, without you, without school, without teachers, testing or targets. I bet they know how to game, use their technology better than you do. Kids learn anyway, wherever they are, all the time. give children experiences and they learn from them. They can’t help it. With your guidance and direction they’ll learn even more as you take them places, show them things, talk endlessly about what you’re doing, observe, bring awareness to the world around them – there’s so much to learn about they’d never have the chance for in school. They learn more through conversation than any other way. So chat about; where you’re going, what you’re buying, the route you’re taking, the advertising, produce, budget, work, climate, waste, traffic, whatever. Observing, questioning, discussing is an enormously valuable learning approach that can be formalised with research and study skill practice at a later date. Their brain is an amazing self-organising computer that stores it all away for future reference and extended understanding. Stimulate them and they’ll learn – it’s as simple as that.

5)I’m afraid of how it’ll turn out and the kids failing.

Another important fact: kids fail in school all the time. With home education you cannot fail because if anything isn’t working you can change it. You will learn from other families how to approach it. You will also learn that everyone approaches it differently and that’s okay for we are all different anyway, so we can adapt good ideas to suit our own individual kids and family circumstances. That’s the beauty of home educating. When the children start school we tend to look at it day to day. We don’t really look too far ahead to them being teens, or exams, for example. In fact this is unimaginable when they’re small. It’s best to adopt that view when you start home educating. Take one day at a time. Make it the best you can (and there’ll always be days that are not the best, but that happens in school too doesn’t it!) There’s no point in worrying too far ahead as children constantly change – as does the rate at which they change – but one thing is certain; they never stand still and they never fail to learn.

So relax. Keep in contact with others. Review. Adjust. Keep flexible. Progress with your child. Trust in yourself as an intelligent caring person. That’s all you need to be.

And enjoy it. that’s the best approach of all.


Buy it at a discount from birdsnestbooks.co.uk this month

(There’s a lot more about worries and wobbles in my new book ‘A Home Education Notebook’. Available through the publishers Bird’s Nest Books who are offering a discount on their home education titles this month).

Not Going Back To School

It a20160829_155706.jpglways seemed to be the perfect blue-sky-over-harvest days when we had to ‘Go Back’. The ‘Going Back’ feeling settled over us all like Sunday nights.

When I was a child it wasn’t only going back to school, it was also going back to the city where we felt equally imprisoned after our summer in the country.

But going back to school had as much as a sense of imprisonment of minds as physical confinement. And although progress has inevitably been made since I went to school, I sense the imprisoned minds of today’s children even worse than back then. Everything about learning has been so compartmentalised, measured, trussed up and forced into an ever tighter climate that the kids can be inhibited from learning at all. Certainly learning things that are useful to them for life outside of school!

I felt that sense of doom as strongly as a teacher as I did as a child. And not just for myself, but for all the children who had to be shut back in class when outdoors September would bloom like another summer. Have you noticed when the kids go back it’s always glorious weather?

Then, when our children did their short spell in school, I experienced it again. And wondered; do kids – physically, mentally and emotionally – really have to be so imprisoned for an education?

Home educating taught us that it didn’t.

And it taught our young people that, although there will be times that learning may be boring and needed sticking at to achieve certain goals, the bulk of it is inspirational, it is not imprisoning but liberating and exciting, and has a purpose and a practice that they can take on themselves, for themselves, simply because learning is a way to enhance a life. And no one has to suffer to do it.

Throughout our home educating days I felt blessed that their happy learning lives could continue on through September – and all year round really.

I do acknowledge that many children have happy learning lives in school which is brilliant. But I also know that many don’t; the nature of school does not suit them and they do not thrive and achieve well there. Some don’t even keep well.

Home educating offers a workable, successful and in many cases liberating alternative for those children and an opportunity to learn without school – there are many home educated adults out there now proving that it works.

For education should be liberating, certainly uplifting and inspiring, broadening lives and minds and enhancing them, not imprisoning them.

We found home educating the most liberating learning experience of all.

If you haven’t already; you should seriously consider it. (Browse round this site for stories and tips to help). And eradicate that Going Back feeling for good.

And if you’re already doing so, may you continue to enjoy the experience as much as we did.

An experienced Home Educator shares her story

I had the great pleasure recently of re-meeting a friend I hadn’t seen for ages, who is still home educating her family of six. Of course, that’s what we talked about! I asked her if she’d be willing to share her wealth of experience – and confidence – here for us all to learn from. Here’s her insightful story in her own words:

I have six children and none of them has ever been to school.


mum (left) and Rosie all grown up and on her way to Uni


In the beginning, I didn’t really think about school and was horrified at how quickly the subject of school came up after my eldest, Rosie, was born. I’d heard about home education (I think it was a magazine article in the dentist’s surgery) but I presumed that it must only be for children with special needs.  When I learnt that ANY child could be home educated, it was a total light-bulb moment.

My husband was against it from the start, even though he could see our little girl thriving and learning. He had, as a lot of people do, a belief that school ‘makes’ you, toughens you up, shows you how to fend for yourself blah de blah.  I sucked up as much information about home education as I could for him to read and he wouldn’t. So in the end I put my foot down and said that if he wanted Rosie to go to school, he would have to fill out all the forms, buy the uniform and take her there each day himself.  It was a dirty tactic, but I was convinced that home education would be perfect for her and a few years later, my husband agreed with me!

Like most little children, she was an absolute sponge for learning and our small house filled up with books and resources from charity shops and car boot sales as well as boxes and boxes of art and craft equipment. I bought a bulk box of 100 exercise books (around fourteen years and five more children later, we still haven’t used up all those exercise books!!) as well as lots of other expensive educational equipment.  Some of it was pointless – the anatomical model where you could remove the plastic heart, lungs etc and fit them back into the body for example – once the body parts had been taken out, put back in again, that was that and the body parts were soon lost.  This was all in the bad old days when I was feeling anxious at this beginner stage of home education and surrounding myself with the same equipment that schools had made me feel safer.

I drew up a timetable, but it fell apart after a few days. One thing I learnt through experience was that even when I had prolonged periods of time where formal education went out the window (like the births of Rosie’s brothers and sisters), the children kept learning.  Just because I wasn’t there to open up a workbook or get the maths cubes out, they didn’t fall behind or stop learning.  When formal education resumed, they were always up to speed, which I found very heartening and which gave me confidence.  Our style of education has relaxed a lot over the years. Sometimes we get workbooks out, mostly we don’t.  Nowadays, workbooks fill in the bits that haven’t been learnt in some other, more hands on way, which I’m happy about.

The pressure to socialise your child when you start to home educate is MASSIVE and if you’re a very shy person (as I was back then), the idea of meeting strangers is terrifying.  I stuck my name down on the contact lists of HEAS and EO and I was contacted by a few home educators who I dutifully invited to our house and went to groups.

I think the children liked the home ed groups better than I did, but that was ok because we weren’t there for me, I was just there to tick a big, important box marked ‘Socialisation’.

The trouble with home ed groups is that there is no such thing as a typical home educator, so there were inevitable disagreements!  The groups contained people who were very confidently home educating as part of their alternative lifestyle, people whose child had been in and out of school, people who were home educating for religious reasons or because they couldn’t find a school they liked. Some worked well, some didn’t. We have not been to a home ed group for about six years now

My two older sons started going to Scouts about four yeas ago and absolutely love it.  It was a bit hard for them in the beginning, there were children who picked on them a bit and others who were envious that they didn’t have to go to school, but once the novelty wore off, they made friends very easily and really enjoy it.  My second daughter began Brownies and endured a whole nine months without anyone talking to her.  Her Brownie leader suggested that home education was to blame which was very annoying.  I switched her to Cub Scouts where she has never looked back and gets on with everyone and her little sister followed suit by becoming a Beaver Scout.  Joining Scouts has been the turning point in their lives and has given them so much more than socialisation.  They have gone abroad, been on many camps, stood up to read in front of large crowds and a load more that I didn’t have the social confidence to do when I was their age.  Children do not have to go to school to be socialised or to fit into social situations.

Home education’s greatest advantages are not being bound to term times, a more relaxed pace of life, and I can tailor their learning to suit their own abilities.  Rosie, for example, was very unconfident at maths and went through a stage where just the sight of me holding a maths workbook made her shut down and give up.  So I took the pressure off, gave her a break from maths and when we resumed, she used workbooks suited for a child a couple of years younger and she found that she could do the maths and her confidence grew.  Within a year she was back using workbooks set at her own age again, she just needed that confidence boost and I don’t think she would have got that chance at school.

I didn’t have any set goals when I started home education.  I just concentrated on tailoring their education to their needs, interests and abilities.  I always told people that I would only carry on home educating so long as the children were happy and thriving; if I felt that I couldn’t do it anymore, or that school would be the better option, of course I would do the best thing for them.  Happily though, they have never wanted to go to school and each LEA inspector that has come to visit has been very satisfied and told us to carry on!  I did want the children to take GCSEs, because I wanted them to see how they measured up against their peers.  I wanted them to have the camaraderie of suffering coursework, exam pressures etc that the other children they met had and also to see that just because they hadn’t been to school, they were taking the same exams as everyone else, facing the same questions as their friends and could see where all their hard work had led to. Seeing my daughter pass iGCSE maths (which I failed miserably) gave me a huge confidence boost.  Post sixteen; it’s all up to them.  Both my eldest children have slipped very easily into college without any problems and Rosie is now headed for university while her brother is on his second year learning carpentry and joinery.  They love college life and I love stepping back and watching them do it for themselves now.

What advice would I give to someone just starting out or considering home education?

Get rid of those fixed ideas of what is the best method of education!  People get hung up on the details of how education should be delivered and lecture each other.  But this is your child, you have put yourself in the driving seat and you will test ride all the routes till you find the one with the least potholes and is best for you. These may not be other people’s experiences, but you will know when your child is learning.  You don’t have to learn everything to be able to teach your child either.  You don’t have to be a fountain of knowledge because you are the facilitator – the person who shows the child where to get the information so the child can learn.  That way, your child learns how to find it for itself, which is a good foundation for a future life of independence.

If you’re still unhappy about school but worrying about home education, just give it a try.  School will always be there and you will never know what home education is like from just reading about it.  Nothing is forever, literally nothing.  We got confused and my son ended up on the wrong college course, so we changed mid-term.  He now has two sets of friends from each course and he is very happy.  Home education is like that, you try something and it doesn’t work, so you think about it and find something that does work and along the way, you learn patience and confidence.  If it turns out that home education isn’t working for you, well at least that’s better than not knowing and torturing your days thinking; ‘what if?’

Home education chops and changes and what you do with one child isn’t what you end up doing with another and I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. I don’t need to have all the answers right now because I will learn as I go, just like I did with all my other children; that’s the beauty of home education.