I so want to write you a letter.
This is because, having been through it, I know that when you become a mum there is so much to think about, do and cope with, some of the most important things get neglected. I know – I’ve done it!
So I thought maybe some of my hindsight might give you a helping hand. The sorts of things that I’m talking about are not to do with that gorgeous child – instead I want to talk about you!
For a start; are you looking after yourself, or are you devoting all your time and energy to looking after your child? When you first have a baby this is how it is for a while. But you need to get back to considering your needs as well as those of your child’s. Looking after your needs is important both for you and for your child; it makes you a mum better able to cope which makes you a happier parent and that’s got to be good for you both!
The next thing to fully appreciate is your worth. You have enormous worth as a mum. Just imagine who you’re raising; you could be raising the next Prime Minister or the next David Beckham or Angelina Jolie who as well as being a celebrity is more importantly an ambassador for charity. Whoever, the point is that what you do as a mum is creating another member of the human race who will be contributing something – doesn’t matter how great or small – they will be contributing. And to make their contribution a good one depends on the time and attention you put in as a parent. That is your worth and the worth of the work you do as a mum, (there’s a whole chapter devoted to this in my book I’m so passionate about it).
This means that every little moment you spend with your child, however quiet or invisible, will eventually affect everybody. Because your child is never isolate. They come into contact with thousands of others over a lifetime and via that contact can spread love and goodness all around. You’re contributing to society this way. How amazing is that? That’s what you do!
So, to do this job really well, it is essential that you are really well. That you are rested, relaxed, nurtured so you have the energy, drive and inspiration you need to raise your child well.
And before you worry, you don’t need a degree or a diploma or anything expensive or complicated to raise your child well. You just need to be a conscientious, caring and respectful human being and you’re probably that already or you wouldn’t be reading this. Everyone is different. Everyone parents differently. But this is okay because each child is different too, so listen to your intuition and be the mum you want to be. And respect yourself for what you do.
You have the right to be as respected as anyone else doing any form of work, paid or otherwise. For yours is also vital work. Respect yourself for doing it thereby heightening respect for all mums – you all work so hard. You are an amazing, champion workforce whose staying power in the face of challenge is unparalleled and whose work is of the utmost importance.
These are some of the important things I wanted to tell you. They are also the themes expanded in my book MUMHOOD along with lots of tips and support – and a little bit to help with the children too. So if you ever have the time, do take a look.
There’s also a lot more about motherhood and parenting throughout my blog posts. If you type ‘mumhood’ or ‘parenting’ in the search box you’ll find some.
But just for now, look after yourself. Focus on enjoying your mumhood and enjoying your child. These are treasured moments to be indulged in while you can.
Love and best wishes for your mumhood, Ross