I’ve finally moved!
It’s taken over a year, (I first mentioned it here ages ago) a painful, no-man’s-land year of negotiating, form filling, anxiety and emotion and waiting, waiting, waiting. And a hell of a lot of learning. I feel I’ve been home educating myself – educating myself about moving house and building a home again. And trying to keep calm the meanwhile!
The last time we did this the youngsters were twelve and nine – we did it whilst home educating. (You can read the story in ‘A Funny Kind of Education’) They learnt a lot. It was an exciting adventure for them and we kept as positive about it as we could. That was almost twenty years ago. And although they no longer live with us I want to make sure I rebuild their own ‘home’ for when they come and stay. It feels important. Because we are so close, even if not in miles.
It’s something I’ve heard new home educators worry about; how home educating will affect their relationship with their children and more importantly when the children are adult.
But I would say this – and I’ve heard other home educating parents say it too; that home education made our relationship all the stronger. Rather than everybody hating each other with being together so much as many parents fear will happen, the opposite is nearer the case. You grow a new kind of respect and empathy for each other, you find ways to make space from each other when you need it, you can treat each other well and get to know each other deeply without the distancing school sometimes creates, they begin to understand that you are on their side, that all relationships are give-and-take, and they learn how to be together with understanding, how to communicate, how to manage their feelings and moods, that parents are people with needs too, not just people who shunt them off to school.
I think these skills are all a direct result of home educating, and other families seem to find the same. I also think that it is sometimes hard to build worthy relationships in a school setting where kids are pitched against each other most of the time.
The relationship we have now with our young adults is one I absolutely cherish – and they seem to too! I feel so blessed. So blessed to have had the opportunity to home educate, to have had the opportunity to build such strong bonds.
And wherever we are I feel that will remain.
And I’m just looking forward to putting together a new home as a venue for those loving bonds to be expressed.