When your Home Ed child wants to try school

Some children thrive well in school. Schools are a valuable and necessary route for many families.

You may be surprised to hear me say that given that I’m all for home education and work to raise awareness of it and support parents wanting to home school their children.

But I’m not one of those home educators who’s dead against school whatever. It’s the systematic, conveyor-belt style of schooling offered to us as education, which attempts to make kids all the same and expects them all to perform all the same, that I’m against. And I personally abhor some of the methods used by generalised school approaches (like recent backwards move to grammar selection) to reach targets that seem nothing other than political. But that’s just a personal opinion.

The idea of schools as a place to go and learn in inspirational ways with inspirational guidance from enthusiastic others, alongside friends, is a good one. It’s just that this idea doesn’t manifest itself as reality in many cases, thanks to an obsession with measurement, testing, politics, ignorance and disregard for individual learning preferences.

Watching our children wilting in happiness, health, and motivation to learn anything at all when they’d been such inquisitive little beings before school, was what drove our decision to change.

But it was only ever our intention to home educate as long as they enjoyed it. And as they grew older there was always the choice for them to go back and learn as their friends did. Mostly they decided not to, but there was one point where we were thrown by our youngest’s announcement that she fancied trying it, even though she was the one who’d wilted most of all. You can read what happened in the book ‘A Funny Kind of Education’.

Like many home educating parents in this position we saw it as a failure on our part to fulfill her needs.

That was daft; it’s unlikely we could fill all their needs – just as schools cannot – there is no one experience that answers as education. And her curiosity about school (and that’s all it was) showed her intelligent and inquisitive mind which we had nurtured and developed as part of the educational process. And curiosity and a willingness to try things out is a good thing – even if it is school they want to try. We should rather be congratulating ourselves than bemoaning it.

If your child is going through a stage like this you have to keep an open mind of your own – hard though it may seem. And congratulate yourself on your intelligent child and their ability for curiosity and decision-making. The decision may well be reversed again – as ours did, as did other Home Ed children we knew who wanted to try school too. Many families use school for one and homeschool other children effectively But it’s important to respect their ideas, keep on talking about it with them, learn what you can about what they’re thinking, discuss their options, and hang in there!

For being rigidly against school can be as institutionalising an attitude as the one which school users sometimes display towards home educators when they’re having a go, isn’t it? The rather bigoted one we sometimes come across among those members of the public who don’t really understand home schooling or how successful it is.

All decision making as parents is hard. We need to share concerns, find support, and make sure we have a cross section of opinions, to guide us as parents. And meanwhile be brave enough, and open enough, to go with the flow of our children and respect that they will come to grow and know their own minds through experience. Whether that involves school or not.

And though thick and thin we must always stay on their side.

(Do dip into my books for more support and information)

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “When your Home Ed child wants to try school

  1. It is so good that you have written about this. I so wish I had read this when my eldest wanted to go back to school when he was 12. I agonised through the whole thing , it was a stressful time for me , I felt like a failure, but he is now 17 and still at school and it has been the best thing all round. He thrives in the traditional educational environment, loves being with his friends and has been academically successful. On the other hand, my youngest son thrives with a comletely unconventional education at home ……… children really do know what is right for them and just need to be heard and respected and given a choice. I think the fact that my eldest chose to go to school has made ALL the difference in his experience of it …. I just wish I knew all this back then!!!! Because he has taken care of his own academic education by going to school I have been able to concentrate on supporting him in other ways that the school wouldn’t do. Thank you Ross for the work you do supporting and encouraging home educators, it is so valuable!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s