Fifteen qualities of a good parent….the list could go on…

Another report in the news a little while ago on what we should be doing as parents. Or more to the point, what we shouldn’t be doing!

Read it here; Shouting at children increases their behavioural problems

Of course we shouldn’t be shouting; we wouldn’t shout at big people so it’s funny how some think it’s okay to shout at kids. However, we are human – we do lose it sometimes and shout. But the real rule is; we shouldn’t be doing anything abusive in whatever form, physical, mental, emotional etc – to anyone, kids or not!

But what should we be doing? What makes a good parent?

The simple answer is; the same things that make a good human being: –

–          Kindness

–          Thought

–          Love

–          Respect – giving and receiving

–          Being the person you want your kids to be

–          Living the values you want them to live by

–          Knowing what those values are

–          Being responsible for self, others and the wider world

–          Being consistent, honest and strong enough to maintain that through the tough bits

–          Loyalty and truth

–          Empathy, care and consideration

–          Being flexible, open minded and open hearted too

–          Examining yourself and what you are demonstrating to your children, reassessing and changing as you all grow

–          Patience, positivity and perseverance

–          More love…..

Goodness, the list could go on and on but I wasn’t intending to write a burden here. I think most parents are these things anyway. But parenting is hard. It needs constantly reappraising and adjustment.

Yet it is one of the most delightful ways in which you can make an important contribution to the world. By creating another good, kind and loving human being, just like you.

That’s what parents do.

Please – share what you think is a necessary part of the ‘good parent’ package…

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10 thoughts on “Fifteen qualities of a good parent….the list could go on…

  1. Wonderful list. I certainly agree that not shouting at younger children except in cases of peril is the right way to go.

    Personally, I also have to admit to shouting now and again but this tends to be at the teenagers who appear to have developed a tendency to deafness when asked by the cook (me) in a normal voice to kindly do the washing up 😉

  2. One of the things I find helps me parent is remembering that I am the adult and they are kids- meaning that I can (or certainly should choose to) control my frustrations, where as they are too small and easily overwhelmed by them. Therefore them yelling and me yelling are two completely different things.
    I find, that by remembering how much more vulnerable and emotionally swayed about they are, I am able to be compassionate, see things more clearly and react accordingly.
    Plus, how can we expect children to grow up to be all that God has placed in their hearts, if we don’t respect them enough to allow their gifts, talents and passions emerge in their own time and way? We need to think before speaking/yelling.

  3. Your list is perfect. I know that with my eldest I shouted at him a few times through frustration perhaps or just inexperience. I soon realised that it was a horrible thing to do and thankfully ceased when he was very young. I try to never raise my voice now instead I listen.Why is he not hurrying up? Why is he refusing to eat? By stopping and listening I have realised over time that situations which may have resulted in a lash of my tongue are generally resolvable through discussion. Of course, if my child is about to endanger himself then I will scream but other than that we just listen to each other.
    Both of my children have voices – listening to them makes parenting much easier for me. I am calm and most of all I enjoy every minute of it.
    Why isn’t he hurrying up? He still can’t tie his shoelaces properly so we bought slip on ones. Why is he refusing to eat? Mushrooms make him gag so he gets tomatoes in his omelette instead.

    Like you said Ross, mutual respect is a big one as well as lashings and lashings of love:)

    Thanks for another great post.

    • What an insightful comment – you are totally right about the listening. Every child has a reason for the way they behave. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts – thank you!

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