I see the working mothers have been getting it in the neck again this week. Blamed for their children’s failings as per usual. It seems as soon as there are failings to be discussed the mothers are the first to have a finger pointed at them.
And it doesn’t seem to matter as a mother what we do, we’ll be doing it wrong: working mother – we should be at home looking after the kids; non-working mother – we should stop being a burden and get a job, get out more, get a brain! Single mothers – we should stop having babies just for the handouts and get a job, home-make and look after our children full time all on our own!
Yet if mothers have well supported, well achieving children then it’s nothing to do with us at all and we never get a mention.
What I want to know is how come folks haven’t noticed that parenting is a DUAL responsibility? How come dads never seem to get any of this blame?
Fathers are EQUALLY responsible for their children’s welfare, their children’s happiness and their children’s achievements. When are working dads going to take responsibility for the fact that, if their child’s mother wants to work as it is her right to do, then actually, to fulfil their responsibility to their children, fathers might need to work less. Why should mums work less without the expectation that fathers could work less too, in order to properly share child development and career development?
I acknowledge the many wonderful fathers who already do. But I also know that women are thought less of for wanting to devote time to their career alongside raising a family, but a man is not. Hasn’t anyone noticed society has moved on from ancient traditions of male = bread winning, woman = domestic? It affects children just as much to have an absent father as an absent mother.
We will know when we have reached true progression and true equality when we no longer have the responsibility for parenting heaped all at the mother’s door. Making a baby is a dual activity – raising a child is too.
Ross Mountney's Notebook 